I’m getting a very strong feeling that the first 3 jobs I applied for have put my application in the “reject” pile. I’m not that surprised, really — one was an insanely competitive postdoc, one was a tenure-track job at a world-famous R1 university, and one was a tenure-track job that didn’t quite fit with my field but was at a great liberal arts college (my dream job) and I figured “what the hell, I’ll give it a shot” — but I’m still feeling down about it.
I was hoping at least one of these places might interview me, or request more materials (indicating that my CV made the first cut), but that appears unlikely given their timeline. All three of these early-deadline jobs want to interview and choose by December. And the worst part? All three were on the East Coast. The postdoc was in Boston.
I know these jobs were super-competitive, and that none of this means I’m unqualified or a bad scholar. But emotionally, that’s how it feels. And it’s even worse that the rest of the jobs I’m applying for are scattered around the country, and seem to get increasingly far away from Econo Man. I feel like I’m failing him and failing our marriage because I’m not good enough professionally — which is not a healthy or reasonable way to look at it, but sometimes the bad thoughts pop up unbidden.
Time to play more Rock Band with my husband and remind myself that things *will* be OK.
Just a note of encouragement: As an admin at a university in Boston running a faculty search at the moment, I can honestly say you haven’t failed, things are just super competitive. Something will come along, and what happens in the meantime isn’t a reflection on you and certainly not on your marriage (I’m sure Econo Man would agree!). Also, though its hard to remember when embroiled in your dissertation, you are not the work you do or the jobs you interview for or the ones that reject you. Hang in there. :)
Rock Band does solve anything.
In any case, booooooooooooy do I feel you on this. I was rejected for EVERYTHING the first year I applied, worked an academic admin job for a year, and then finally scored a postdoc. It is like putting your self-esteem through a blender, for sure. But I will say that now that that shitty period is behind me, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal to have had to wait a year, in the grand scheme of things. This will pass.
job hunting is tough on teh self esteem in any field. it all basically comes down to luck (ie, do you have a connection, does something about your resume resonate, etc), not how qualified you are. so pick yourself up and go on with your rock band therapy. (is that some kind of wii game?)
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know that’s easy to say, but hang in there! It seems everyone is out there looking for a job right now, so you’re not alone.
Oh, sweetie. We all know you’re an academic rock star (the secret is out). Hang in there: it’s about fit, and the job search always shakes out eventually. And your marriage is stronger than whatever crap the world throws at it. A. is right–it works out.
love to you
I’m right there with you, as you know, and I second all of the reassurances that you’ll land something great, someday. On a related subject, get this: today, Mr. B’s advisor told him that one of his contacts told him that his cover letter wasn’t sufficiently brag-y. Now we’re in a whole new stress spiral over what that means! Why did his advisor even tell him? Grr. Enough of this. I’m off to make chocolate cake and mole.
I totally feel you. I’m sending out applications now, and the only interviews I’ve gotten are way outside of Baltimore. I feel like I’m failing Mark because we might have to move down to Southern Maryland, meaning he would have to leave his job; or I would have to commute an hour and a half each way every day and hate my life, my self, and destroy the environment.
But somebody last night at a panel discussion about career paths was saying that things, like job rejection, happen for a reason. You will find something, and you will be alright.
Otherwise, you could totally make a living selling crafts off of Etsy, right? :-p (Sorry. I assume you are the kind of person for whom humor helps in this kind of situation.)
You’ll find something. Times are rough right now, don’t take it personally!
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I know things are bad right now for a lot of people because the economy is so crap, and Ellie, you’re right, rejections happen for a reason most of the time. K, that’s awesome advice for anyone on the academic market — we do tend to get wrapped up in our work, and measure our worth according to where we’re published or who’s going to interview us. But the truth is, I’m sure departments like yours are elbow-deep in qualified candidates, and it’s just really competitive no matter how good you are! A., it’s doubly encouraging to hear from someone who took a second try on the market and found a position that was a good fit. You’re right, waiting a year won’t be the end of the world.
And I’m currently contemplating what I’d sell on my Etsy store ;-) (I suspect most of my handcrafted goods would end up posted and mocked on Regretsy. Crafty, I am not.)