I have never been able to send back a bottle of wine at a restaurant, even when I really, really want to. A couple of years ago, Econo Man and I were out to dinner with my in-laws. I ordered a bottle of Cabernet for the table from the usually reliable Columbia Crest. The waitress poured the sample taste into my glass and it tasted like a melted Hershey bar mixed with artificial oak flavoring. When she asked (very nicely) how it was, I froze. “It’s OK if you don’t like it!” she assured me, correctly interpreting my expression.
I turned bright red. ”I mean, it’s not bad … I don’t want to be difficult,” I blurted. We kept the bottle. I couldn’t bring myself to ask the restaurant to take a loss on an open bottle when there was nothing actually wrong with it.
Last week I had another uh-oh moment when we were out to dinner with friends. I chose a Sangiovese from their wine list, the waitress poured a taste for me, and the wine tasted … a bit odd. It bubbled slightly in the glass (although that could have been the result of a vigorous pour) and had an acidic hint bordering on sourness. This could have been a sign that the wine has been stored at a high temperature and has undergone some bad chemical reactions in the bottle. I’ve opened bottles before that were so markedly fizzy and sour that I knew they’d gone to vinegar, but with this wine I wasn’t sure. Maybe it just wasn’t to my taste? I said nothing and spent the rest of the evening wondering if our friends also noticed that it might be slightly off.
I don’t want to turn into an insufferable jerk who demands to see the manager when she doesn’t like the temperature the Bordeaux is served at, but I hate paying restaurant markups on a bottle of wine that I don’t really care for — or, worse, a bottle that might have been stored improperly. On the other hand, I am also deeply conflict-phobic, which means I’m terrified that the waiter or waitress will argue with me if I try to send the bottle back.
Have you ever sent back a bottle of wine? Would you send back a bottle because it’s not a style of wine you enjoy, or only if it’s corked or otherwise “off”? Any advice for a chicken like me who hates to make a scene and dreads arguing with people in public?
Early in our relationship, J took me out to a really nice special dinner and ordered a mid-price bottle of wine. It was awful, but primarily because neither of us had any idea what we were doing with wine. But what was even more awful was when he sent it back, possibly also because we were young, inexperienced and had no idea the etiquette for “sending back wine” because it was probably the first bottle of wine we’d ever ordered at dinner.
I made him leave a huge tip from guilt. And we decided we’d only ever send back wine that was obviously “off.” And if it’s “off” then you shouldn’t have to pay for it, period. You would have taken the loss if you bought it at home but, at a restaurant, you’re paying onsite for the pleasure of a nice (and nicely marked up) wine. I’d send back horrid food too (only ever happened once, due to meal preparation and not because the flavors weren’t to my liking) and it’s pretty easy to just tell the waiter the bottle is “off” and have them try for confirmation. There’s never a need to make a scene when it’s clear there’s something wrong with the wine, just be matter of fact. And matter of factly, you shouldn’t have to pay for the displeasure of a terrible bottle of soured wine when you purchased a nice wine for your meal.
I’ve never had to send back a bottle at a restaurant, though I would if it were sour (at a nice restaurant, I’d probably ask for someone there to try it to confirm because I don’t want to be a jerk, but I know if I won’t drink it). I’ve sent back glasses I’ve ordered before, though.
I’ve only sent a bottle back once, and it was a terrible experience. The bottle had obviously turned, and I knew from the smell before I even tried it. It tasted awful, and I had my husband try it too to confirm. I told the waiter it was bad, and he didn’t believe me! He reluctantly sniffed it and said he had to talk to his manager if we didn’t want the bottle. I couldn’t believe it. The manager got us a new bottle, but it was such an unpleasant experience I haven’t been back to that restaurant since. A new strategy I have been trying if I’m going to order something that I haven’t tried before is to order a bottle of a wine they also have by the glass and ask for a small taste before I commit to the bottle.
I’ve never sent back a bottle but I have sent back cocktails that are too syrupy or just plain gross tasting. Likewise, I have sent back food that was poorly cooked.
I know that if you find cork in your wine, that’s automatic grounds for sending it back. If a wine tasted off to me, I’d have my dinner companions try it for reassurance before deciding what to do with it.
I consider it like food. If I order a plate of something and it turns out to be something I don’t like, I suck it up and eat it or leave it, but either way, pay for it. BUT, if it’s prepared improperly- back it goes. (and having been a waitress for 5 years, it takes some effort for me to work up the nerve)
If the wine had corked, I think I’d send it back. If it’s just not what you expected or like… meh. I don’t know that I would. I think I’m with Leafygreens- “Does this smell like it’s turned?” versus “I DEMAND A NEW BOTTLE.” Because I’m a wussypants.
It sounds like the consensus is that we should only send back bottles that are obviously off, and only after asking the opinions of dining companions. That seems like a good rule of thumb. For the record, my husband read this post and was really surprised that I thought there might have been something wrong with that Sangiovese. His take on it was that it wasn’t a great wine but there wasn’t anything wrong with it. I guess I’m glad I didn’t make A Thing out of it. But if I ever get a bottle that has definitely turned to vinegar, it’s going back — and if the restaurant gives me grief about it, I probably won’t be returning.
@meghan — Ugh! That sounds really off-putting. That kind of response from the server is exactly what I worry about when I contemplate sending back food or wine. I know restaurants end up taking a loss if they have to replace a bottle, but if the wine isn’t drinkable they need to handle it graciously.
Non-wine person here: but what’s the point of the taster if you can only send the bottle back if it’s gone completely off? Surely there’s some middle ground of “it’s truly awful” between “it’s just not to my taste” and “it’s completely off”?
Badger and I once drank an entire bottle of wine that was almost certainly corked in a tiny pizza bar in North Eastern Italy – because the proprietor wouldn’t bring us our espressos until we finished it. A combination of having zero Italian and taking some time to figure out if it was just really bad wine or actually corked led us to this state. I do not recommend it. I hate making a fuss in restaurants so would only send wine back if it was corked, and even then, would have to work myself up to do it.
@thefrogprincess — Good point! I think it depends on the restaurant. Some places are OK with customers sending back a wine they really don’t like; others are leery of it and will only accept “returns” if the wine is spoiled, and see the taste as an opportunity to see if the wine is ruined and nothing more. As a diner I’d prefer the former, but I can understand the latter point of view. If this isn’t a wine offered by the glass an open bottle means a pretty big loss of revenue, and I know some picky wine snobs who would happily send back lots of bottles if given the opportunity.
@BadgerandBear — My husband had a similar experience in Greece! It sounded really awkward.